Teach English in Saudi Arabia - Saudi Culture and Customs

TEACH ENGLISH IN SAUDI ARABIA

Saudi Culture and Customs

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Saudis are tolerant to a certain extent of Westerners' ignorance of their society, but foreigners should learn the local social conventions as soon as possible to avoid causing repeated offence.

Hospitality

The Saudis are naturally very hospitable people, but also hospitality has become ritualized in their culture.
This hospitality stems from the nomadic lifestyle of only two or three generations ago, when refusal of food and shelter could mean death in the country's harsh desert environment.
Even members of an enemy tribe coming in peace would not be refused food and drink.
In modern urban society, this hospitality persists, to the extent that personal honour depends on a guest's pleasure.

Greetings

"As-salam 'alaykum" ("Peace be upon you") is the standard Muslim greeting. The reply is slightly different, "Wa alaykum as-salam"("And upon you, peace").
"Ahlan wasahlan", another frequent form of address, means "Welcome". The reply, "Ahlan feek", means " Welcome to you".
There is a whole series of other ritual greetings and replies, but learning just these basics will be very much appreciated.
See the section on Learning Arabic for more information about the language.

Gestures and Words - Offensive or Inoffensive?

Saudis find it offensive to expose the soles of the shoes, even accidentally, by crossing the legs when seated, or resting the leg on a nearby chair.
It is equally unacceptable to use idiomatic references to shoes, such as "Put yourself in my shoes."
The use of an upright finger to beckon someone can be interpreted as being insulting, especially if made in a threatening manner. Instead, turn the hand so that the palm is downward and move all the fingers towards yourself.
Holding all the fingers together, with the palm of the hand upwards, and making a small movement with the wrist is used to suggest that patience is required. The words "shway, shway" ("slowly, slowly") often accompany this gesture.

Kissing and Holding Hands

Saudi men often greet each other with kisses, but Saudi men usually just shake hands with foreign men unless they are close friends.
The opposite sexes should never kiss in public.
Men sometimes hold hands with each other in Saudi Arabia (although not with women in public). Holding hands with another man is a sign of friendship, with no sexual connotations.
Foreign men may feel uncomfortable when another man grips their hand, but it would be insensitive to prematurely withdraw from the contact.
On the other hand, Western couples should avoid any physical contact with each other in public. You may see very modern-minded Saudi couples holding hands, but don't imitate them.

Relations Between the Sexes

Because of the strict segregation of the sexes, there is very little communication between men and women in public.
Men and women do not shake hands.
Eye contact should be avoided with anyone of the opposite sex.
A Western man meeting a Saudi man in the street, accompanied by his wife, should not expect to be introduced to the wife. Many Saudi men, meeting a Western couple, will not acknowledge the presence of the wife.
Westerners, male or female, should not greet members of the opposite sex unless they have been introduced, and know that the Saudi has liberal opinions.
Nor should they expect their presence to be acknowledged by someone of the opposite sex. This is not rudeness, just the local custom.
It is one thing being introduced in private, in the company of friends or spouse, and another walking up to someone in the street.
Any deviation from the accepted norms could be interpreted as desire to start a relationship, whether this is the intention or not.

Clothing for Western Women

Western women, even non-Muslims, must dress conservatively in public, with high necklines, sleeves preferably full-length but definitely elbow-length, and hemlines down to the mid-calf, but preferably to the ankles.
Many Western women wear an abaya over tight trousers or short skirts, but wearing shorts or sleeveless tops is not advisable, even under an abaya.
It is not compulsory for non-Muslim women to cover their head but many women carry a scarf to minimize the possibility of clashes with mutawwa (religious police).
In the Eastern Province, the rules are more relaxed than elsewhere, and Western women sometimes wear loose-fitting trousers with outsize, baggy shirts reaching to just above the knees.

Clothing for Western Men

For work, Western men generally wear ties and long- or short-sleeved shirts.
A jacket is advisable for meetings, at least until you get to know someone.
Shirts should not be worn with more than one or two buttons open in public, and shorts should never be worn except in compounds, or on Westernized beaches.

Traditional Saudi Dress

Very few Saudi men wear Western-style clothes, and the women, almost without exception, are shrouded from head to foot in black outside the home.

The Men's Thobe

Saudi men wear the full-length, long sleeved thobe. White thobes are the norm, either cotton or a polyester mix, but some men wear darker colours in winter, and heavier materials such as wool.
Underneath the thobe they wear long pantaloons called sirwaal, or white shorts.
Thobes keep the wearer cool in the hot months by drawing in air at the bottom of the garments and allowing it to circulate.
In the winter some men wear a jacket over their thobes, while others prefer a full-length, tailored coat called a digla.
When dressing up for formal occasions, at any time of the year, a finely-woven cloak called a bisht or mishlah is worn over the thobe. This is made of camel hair or wool and may be cream, brown or black, with the more expensive ones edged in woven gold braid. The right side of the bisht is tucked under the left arm.
In particularly cold weather, Saudi men wear a farwa, originally a single sheepskin, but now long coat with sleeves, lined with sheepskins. The traditional Bedouin used the farwa as bedding in the winter.
European-style shoes are now common, but even the most urbanized Saudis still sometimes wear leather sandals (na'al), the traditional styles having colourful patterns painted on them.
Islam prohibits Muslim men (but not women) from wearing gold jewellery or silk.

Daggers and Bandoliers

In the southwestern area of the country, many men, particularly older ones, still wear the traditional djambiya, a curved dagger in an ornately-decorated sheath, often of silver, and is held in place by a belt of leather or colourfully embroidered material.
The djambiya is often worn at official or ceremonial functions by men who might not normally wear it. On these occasions, some men also wear a bandolier of cartridges over each shoulder, crossing on the chest.

Men's Headdress

The white cotton headdress is called a ghutrah and the red-and-white checked one a sham'agh, although these days the word ghutrah is loosely used for both. Most men leave their headdress on at all times except at home, and it is impolite to ask a them to remove it.
The large square of material is folded diagonally and placed on top of a taqiyah, a white skullcap, which isn't usually visible.
A black, circular, double cord, known as an igall, holds the ghutrah in place, although religious zealots do not wear an igall.

The Women's Abaya

Saudi women cover their hair in public for religious reasons with a black gauze scarf called a tarha, and from head to foot they shroud themselves in a black outer garment called an abaya, either of silk or synthetic material.
However, underneath this forbidding black garment, colourful designer fashion wear is not uncommon, particularly in the cities of Riyadh, Jeddah and Dhahran, and some shops sell "designer" abayas which sparkle with diamantes and silver threads.
In smaller cities and rural areas, traditional designs are more common - full-length, long sleeved garments with geometric patterns, colourful appliqué or rich needlework.
Most Saudi women choose to cover their faces in public and even in private in the presence of males who are not members of their family, but this is not because of their religion. It is simply local custom.
The most common facial covering is a plain gauze veil, although in some areas leather masks are worn, while in others, women wear a burqa, a mask which leaves the forehead bare, and has openings for the eyes.
Saudi women, particularly the bedouin, love wearing jewellery, but this jewellery also indicate status and, in times of need, or after a divorce, provides cash. Traditionally, when a woman died, her jewellery was melted down, so little old jewellery exists.

Small Talk

Small-talk often precedes any serious discussions, whether social or to do with work.
Foreigners who rush to get straight to the point may appear impatient or rude to Saudis.
First ask how a person is, and enquiry about his family. However, it is considered impolite for a man to enquire about a wife or another female member of the family.
In social conversation, it is discourteous to introduce unpleasant topics.

Respect for Elders

Saudis show great respect for their elders, and age takes precedence over status, the eldest person being accorded the first greeting.
An elderly guest is given the most prominent seating position and receives food and drinks before other guests.
The exception to this rule is when a high-ranking member of the royal family is present, but a prince or princess may nevertheless defer to age.

Invitations

Foreigners should be particularly pleased if invited to a Saudi home for a meal.
However, it is normal to politely refuse once or twice before accepting a spontaneous invitation.
If the invitation is written, there is no ritual refusal. Invitations in Arabic should be replied to in Arabic if possible.
Punctuality is normal at small private gatherings, but some guests may arrive hours late at a large wedding party.
Men and women normally eat separately, and sometimes only men will be invited to dinner. Foreign couples should not assume that both of them are included in an invitation, and should ask.
Foreigners who invite Saudi couples must not be surprised if only the man arrives, even though he may have accepted the invitation for his wife as well.
A Saudi man will normally prefer to make polite excuses for his wife's absence, rather than explain Saudi customs, or refuse the invitation.
When inviting more than one Saudi, check that they feel comfortable together.
Saudis won't plan their social life too far ahead. A couple of days' notice is about right when issuing invitations.

The Coffee Ritual

The actual method of preparation of coffee may have been modified, but the ceremony survives intact.
If coffee is prepared in the traditional manner, green beans are lightly roasted over a fire in a long-handled, ladle-like utensil called a mihmas, taking care not to allow the beans to become too dark.
When the beans begin to glow, they are placed in a tapered wooden box or tray (mubarrad) about 15 to 20 centimetres long, with an opening at the narrower end.
The cooled beans are then coarsely ground in a mortar, or nijr, made from wood, stone or brass.
Cardamom is always added to Saudi coffee, either crushed or whole pods, giving it a distinctive flavour, and aiding digestion.
A pinch of saffron may be added on special occasions, or by the wealthy.
The coffee is poured from a long-spouted pot called a dallah, traditionally with a piece of dried palm webbing (leefah) in the spout to filter out the grounds and spices.
The greeny-yellow coffee is drunk without milk or sugar from small handleless cups, which are only half filled.
Guests should accept no more than three cups unless with close friends.
It is courteous to accept one cup, although not essential to drink it. Always hold the cup in your right hand.
To signal that no more coffee is required, wobble the cup from side to side (or in some areas cover it with the palm of the hand).

Dates

Dates are often served with coffee.
There are hundreds of varieties, of different shapes and colours. They are eaten either partially ripened (rutab), when they are half brown and half yellow or red, or fully ripened (tamr), when they are completely brown.
Fresh dates can be frozen but should not be kept in the refrigerator.

After the Coffee, Tea

Sweet tea, either plain or with fresh mint, is served after coffee, in small glasses with handles.

After the Tea…

After the tea, coffee is served once again.

Eating with your Hand

Many Saudi families, particularly in cities, have adopted the Western custom of eating at a table, but food is still often served on cloths on the floor, without eating utensils.
A spoon may be offered to foreigners but it is more courteous to eat with the fingers.
Only the right hand should be used for eating. This is very important.
When eating from a communal dish, your fingers shouldn't touch your mouth or tongue.
Eating begins after washing the hands and saying "Bismillah" ("In the name of God"). Each person should eat only from the triangular area of the dish immediately in front of him.
However, choice morsels may be offered by the host or another guest, and should be accepted.
A Saudi host feels obliged to offer more food than can be eaten.
Even in previous times when food was scarce, a host would encourage the guest to eat, although this meant he would go hungry himself.
Leaving some food is considered polite, as it indicates that you cannot eat any more.

After the Meal

It is customary to say "Alhamdulilah" ("Thanks be to God") when you have finished eating and to wash the hands and mouth.
Guests will often leave large gathering almost immediately after they have finished eating, but other guests should not feel obliged to stop eating at the same time. The host will often stay with guests even though he himself has finished.
Saying "An'am Allah alaikum kather Allah kherkum" after the meal, shows that the meal was enjoyed, and asks Allah to be generous to the host.
It is normal to leave shortly after finishing the meal at a dinner party in a Saudi home, or immediately after the presentation of incense at formal gatherings. There is not the Western tradition of lingering after dinner.
Saudis like to chat at length before a meal, but the actual eating is a serious affair, and at traditional meals, there is little conversation.
The best Saudi food is found in private homes, with many families priding themselves on their traditional recipes. These are quite different from the standard Lebanese restaurant fare.

Smoking the Shisha

The shisha or narghile - a tall, elegant water-pipe - is also called the hubbly-bubbly because of the sound the water makes as it filters into the base.
Shisha smokers gather in cafés, where they may spend hours puffing away on a filter attached to a long tube.
The tobacco mixture, often flavoured with fruit - particularly apple - is placed in a clay bowl at the top of the shisha.

Saving Face

Saudis often go to extreme lengths to resolve problems without conflict.
"Saving face" is an important feature of the culture, and Saudis will always try to extricate themselves from an awkward situation rather than argue, and also help others to do so.
Foreigners should attempt to behave in a similar way.
One aspect of "saving face" is the reluctance to say no, rather than give an answer which the other person doesn't wish to hear.
So it is preferable not to expect or insist on anything which could prove to be impossible or unacceptable.
If words have not been translated into action within a reasonable period of time, accept that a "promise" will not be kept. Don't push too hard.

Gift Giving

Arabs admire generosity and look down on meanness, and Saudi generosity can be overwhelming.
When and how should a foreigner reciprocate? The primary occasions for gifts are the two Eid holidays, one at the end of Ramadan and the other to mark the end of the Haj (when only children receive presents), plus weddings and births. Eid is a good time to offer gifts if you have developed a friendship with a Saudi family.
Expatriates are frequently invited to attend wedding celebration, even though they may not know the bride or groom. In this case gifts are not expected, and even close friends and family do not present gifts at the wedding party.
Birthday presents are not part of Saudi culture, but there is now a tendency celebrate children's birthdays with Western-style parties. If invited to such an event, take a present.
Presents for children are always enthusiastically received, but except for close friends, it is unacceptable for a man to give a gift to a Saudi man's wife.
When visiting a Saudi family, it is courteous, but not essential, to take a small gift.
Do not give presents which depict human or animal forms as these are considered by many Saudis to un-Islamic.
It is not the custom among Saudis to show a lot of appreciation for presents, or to unwrap them in the presence of the giver.
To avoid embarrassment, foreigners should not show too much admiration for anything owned by a Saudi, as prolonged praise might make the Saudi feel compelled to offer the item as a gift.
Sometimes Saudis make such an offer regardless of the degree of comment simply because they enjoy the pleasure of giving, so take care.
If a Saudi is really insistent about offering a personal possession, accept it and at some point in the future give something special in return, even though this is neither essential nor expected.

Forms of Address

Saudis do not normally expect people to stand on ceremony, and forms of address such as "Mr" rapidly give way to first names, although Saudis do not have a surname in the Western sense.
The name "Aziz bin Mohammad Al-Said" means Aziz, son of Mohammad, of the Said family.
Even members of the Royal Family normally introduce themselves using their first name followed by "bin" (or "bint" if a woman) and then the name of their father. However, they expect to be addressed as "Your Royal Highness", or "Prince" or "Princess" followed by their first name.
"Abu" ("father of", followed by the name of the eldest son, or father if there is no son) shows affectionate respect.
Women retain their own family name after marriage. A wife is may be referred to as Mrs plus her husband's last name when talking to Westerners, but it is correct to introduce her simply by her first name, adding that she is the wife of a certain person.
Variations in the style of family names indicate tribal origin.
People from the south take their family names from villages, such as Zahrani or Gahtani. In the Hijaz, Saudi Arabia's western province, the following three names are used: the person's given name, the father's given name, and the grandfather's given name. In the north of the country, the tribal name is used without Al or bin. Because of the history of later settlement and migration, tribes from the Eastern Province have no specific pattern to their names.